We 've learned to hide, to blame, to follow, to never askin'why We only want to be quiet, to be safe... we're blind
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
When in the hell did I become the Other Woman? How did this happen?
AND WHY AM I ENJOYING IT SO MUCH?
Yes, yes…I made a new little friend. And yes, my new little friend had a little girlfriend. And yes, yes…I knew about it. And yes, yes, YES…I did it anyway.
And I don’t regret it. I have spent SO much time worrying about my karma that I may have missed out on some really fun earth-bound adventures. I am a good person. My karmic footprint has GOT to be positive for the sheer fact that I work so hard at it. And I’m realizing, after some reflection, that I can not be responsible for other people’s karma. If some dude is gonna’ step out on his woman, that is his cross to bear. I never want to cause someone pain—but I also can’t live my life for other people.
Now I find myself embroiled in this phenomenon where most of the guys I connect with are in a relationship. And I don’t care. It happens. It happened to me. It hurt like hell, but it happened.
When it happened to me - when I encountered the Other Woman in my relationship - I was defiant and betrayed. “I would never do that!” I screamed. Wah wah boo kitty. You know what? I have done it. I lied. I have done it and I just did it and I will probably do it again. Everyone does it. It happens. I am not so special that I could prevent it from happening to me. Because look…now I, High and Mighty MaryLou McGee, have done it, too.
Maybe that is why I am enjoying this. Maybe that is why I am able to tuck my conscience away. Maybe being hurt by infidelity is giving me a sense of entitlement. Maybe it’s not as bad as I’ve always thought.
I’ll tell you what…this has forever altered my view of - and my desire for - a relationship. I’m having a very difficult time believing that anyone is truly faithful. I don’t know if I really even WANT to be in a relationship or get married when it seems inevitable our monogamy will fail. But I also find that I am re-examining how important fidelity really is. Letting go of some of my longest and most-firmly held beliefs about relationships is disappointing, but also liberating in a way. I’m not gonna’ choose to be the Other Woman…but fuck all if I’m not gonna’ enjoy it if I am.
